Who's driving this train? Exploring gender equality in 2013

A wonderful Op-Ed in the New York Times from Stephanie Coontz about just how well we're doing in terms of gender equality in the post-feminist era. The U.S. has a long way to go to realize sustained gender equality.  Coontz maintains that it has more to do with workplace constraints and lacking legislation that would help parents juggle the tricky task of raising families and putting food on the table at the same time. Check out this map showing just how behind-the-times we are in offering paid maternity leave.

Sad but true, the U.S. stands shoulder to shoulder with Suriname, Liberia, Palau, Papua New Guinea, Western Samoa and Tonga. Enough said. But paid maternity leave is just one indicator- women continue to earn less then men at every payscale and at every level of educational attainment in this country. I would venture to say that much of the earnings inequity has to do with our simple, yet costly, hesitancy to negotiate and advocate for ourselves during hiring and review times, which Ms. Coontz does not mention in her lengthy Op Ed. Jessica Bennet tackled this problem in her December 15, 2012  New York Times article How to Attack the Gender Wage Gap? Speak Up. "This fear of asking is a problem for many women: we are great advocates for others, but paralyzed when it comes to doing it for ourselves." It might just be time to find our voices once again... or move to Canada or most European countries or even Iran to get your guaranteed 26 weeks of paid maternity leave.

Comments

[Allison Raaum]

Thanks for your great reflections, Adriana! I just took a course in negotiation and it really opened my eyes to this conundrum. It was nice to be able to acknowledge it as a common issue for women, in what what was a room of both men and women-and the teacher was male.

As uncomfortable as it may be, we have to market ourselves the same way we advocate for our families, our jobs, our loved ones, the things we care most about. We must believe in ourselves; believe we ARE worth it, before we can sit down to the heavier task of requesting or demanding more.

It's an interesting time to be a woman. Lots of things are changing, and other things don't feel like they're changing fast enough!

[Adriana]

Great post, A! As someone who has asked for a raise (successfully, I'm happy to say), I can attest to the "fear" factor--that lovely feeling of anxiety that takes over and muddles the perfectly organized and rehearsed words, just seconds before you're ready to open your mouth, when you've managed to schedule a one-on-one meeting with your boss to discuss "something you'd like to ask." Ugh... At the same time, you've just gotta say, damn it! Why shouldn't I ask?? Why would I--even for a second-- think myself any less worthy of earning the same salary as the guy who's doing exactly the same job (and may not be giving it nearly the same effort and dedication as I)? Then the question becomes, how can I not ask? And then, how can I ask successfully?

I think in some companies, it may be hard to find out what your colleagues are earning. But once you do, it becomes a strategy question - how best to communicate your value / worth and request that equal compensation, without being seen as that pushy, overly-ambitious, ballbusting stereotype of woman that rubs people the wrong way. Sad that we have to contend with that still, but I do think there are ways around it. I enjoyed the NYT article, and definitely want to work on my negotiating skills after reading it.